I decided to wax eloquent about something I’m truly uh-mazed by: how pretty much everything gets delivered to your doorstep in Bangalore. The other day, I needed to pick up curtains from a store 20 minutes away. But I just dunzoed it. I also swiggy-ed my lunch and had my groceries delivered. That, to me, deserves an ode. (Yeah, I possibly might have had too much time on my hands today).

 

Bangalore Traffic? Ppff!

 

“The traffic’s completely absurd!”

That’s something you’ve probably heard;

But I’m here to tell you lovely folk,

Bangalore traffic woes are just a joke.

 

Coz in the morning I wake up,

Before I put on my make up (Yup, stole that line),

The doorbell rings in all its glory,

I say hi to the delivery guy, eyes bleary.

 

My vendaka is here from Big Basket,

I don’t need to get out and risk a casket;

There’s no crowded parking lot or waiting in line,

I’d say Bangalore’s traffic is perfectly fine.

 

I grab my water and yoga mat,

Time to hit the gym in my flat,

My personal trainer waits downstairs,

Bangalore traffic? Ppff! Who cares?!

 

Back upstairs, I browse through Prime,

Myntra and Flipkart are next in line,

The jeans, the bag and that cute shirt,

Will be at my door step – zero effort.

 

I glance down and ragged feet I see,

They beg for a pedi and foot reflexology;

The lady comes home with nail polish and a smile,

Yup, Urban Clap I did just dial.

 

There’s no dodging the fact I’m turning 40,

I should check my sugar and lipids, maybe,

There’s actually a chap who comes by with a kit,

A few pokes and samples later, he tells me I’m fit (or not!).

 

Then of course there’s Dunzo for the win,

Not to mention meat delivery (which to some is a sin),

Sometimes, I go old school and call Shoba store,

Bangalore traffic? What a bore!

 

I work from home some days, if I must,

WFH is Bangalore’s favorite acronym – or bust;

And when I feel like manchurian or bhelpuri,

There’s always everyone’s favorite: Swiggy!

 

So, when I join the traffic complaining brigade,

It’s in murky waters that I do wade,

Because inside my house the traffic’s a breeze,

(Don’t ask my hubby about driving to Belandur, please!).