What Lurks Within (+ Shameless Marketing Drive)

The contents of a woman’s purse – a black hole, an impenetrable mystery to man. Very few actually know what lurks in the deep, dark crevices of their handbags. Even fewer want to find out.

But, today, I plan to reveal the contents of my handbag to the world. Fine, if I had to be literal: to my 28 blog subscribers. Or, to be even more precise, to my mom, dad, husband and the six friends who’ve signed up to get my blog updates. Your support would have meant the world to me, but your choice was to subscribe – or see my slightly accusatory eyes staring you down. You made a wise decision. Congratulations!

But, coming back to the purse… The Big Reveal ensues – with a small caveat: the contents of this purse are specific to a germaphobe who has recently moved to a developing country (Or is now PC to say, “emergent economy?”).

Lip gloss and hairbrushes have been replaced by somewhat more necessary items.

Here’s some of what lurks within:

  1. Wet wipes and hand sanitzer: Because I have kids.
  2. Puke bag: Because I have kids and the roads have bumps. A lot of them. Bumps not kids.
  3. Toilet paper in a ziplock baggie: Because. Let’s not get into the particulars.
  4. Charmin’ to-go toilet seat covers: Because you have to go where many have gone before.
  5. Cloth mask: Because air pollution would not be an unreasonable cause of death here.
  6. Vicks Inhaler: Because cloth masks are pointless psychological props.
  7. Mosquito repellent: Because THEY ARE OUT THERE (to be read in a James Earl Jones movie trailer voice)
  8. After-Bite cream: Because they’re out to get you. Those blood sucking vampires.

My supply stash will probably last another 3.2 months. After that, I’m going to have to earn a master’s degree in Adaptability, with a minor in Immunity Development and Improvisation.

Till then, you’re going to have to put up with posts about purses and other such life-altering mysteries. You don’t have to thank me. Your blog subscription will be gratitude enough.

 

 

2 comments

  1. Joanne rekow says:

    Hahaha! Oh my gosh, i just read your old interview piece, it’s great! Funny and relatable and really brings up our own painfully embarrassing moments. Great writing!

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