15 Signs I’m Married to a Techie

It works most of the time – he’s the yin to my yang, the creamer to my coffee, the salsa to my chips.

But sometimes I just look at my hubbers and go, “Really?!”

He loves his devices and would use a tablet as a pillow, if I let him. When I think of tablets, on the other hand, I think Ten Commandments.

Here are some ways I know beyond reasonable doubt I’m married to a techie. Recognize your geeker half in any of them?

1) I go bonkers trying to find him a birthday gift. Colognes, shirts and ties evoke responses as lukewarm as forgotten coffee. So, every birthday takes me to websites like thinkgeek.com to check out the latest in dorkdom. Thankfully, I have managed to nail it with t-shirts like this one:

IMG_2726

 

But,  I’ve tanked with bobble heads who now live at the bottom of a cardboard box. Sorry, Kuthrapali!

IMG_2723 (1)

“I don’t deserve this.”

 

2) On more than one occasion, I’ve found him “organizing” the legos with zero of our offspring in sight.

3) He’s Indian. (That one was staring me in the face. Literally.)

4) When I ask him about his day, he tells me about Apple’s latest release. That’s all. (Confession: If he actually does start talking about his day, my eyes glaze over.)

5) His sleuthing skills are far from elementary. The cabinet under our kitchen sink was infringed by a lone rodent last week. This is how he solved the case of the mystery mouse. Yup, a live, wifi-enabled feed to capture our night guest.

IMG_0428

 

6) Our pre-vacation to-do lists are practically written in different languages. While I’m going the laundry and packing, he backs up the computer data. And, then, backs up the back up. He adjusts the thermostat – wirelessly, of course. The home security camera is hooked up so pictures of every itinerant house fly are e-mailed to us in Disneyland.

7) He buys stuff to make my life “easier.” Everyone has phone chargers. He, however, buys back-up chargers. Shaped like a lipstick so I can carry it in my purse. It’ll get as much mileage as the red lipstick I use when we go to the opera. I last went to the opera … never

51vwxIY4WnL._SL1000_

 

8)  Quite often, I find our dining table looking like this:

IMG_0426

 

9) He is more animated than Mickey Mouse on a sugar high when he talks about the clarity of a retina display and the sound quality of the latest Bose speakers.

10) There’s one thing you both find common ground on: the weekly Big Bang Theory ritual. I’m the Penny (well, I want to be) to his …well, in my case, he’s more of a Raj (without the uggo sweater vests).

11) He is a proud dad when his 6-year-old knows more about Star Wars than the Solar System.

12) Raspberry Pie means one thing to me. To him it means this.

Pi2ModB1GB_-comp-500x283

Raspberry Pi. A sadist must have named this inedible mini computer.

 

13) His Amazon deliveries hold as much interest to me as watching a fly lay eggs.

14) Turning on the TV, the cable box, the speakers, the Apple TV, the whatnot takes more steps than what I’ve done on a treadmill in the last six months. I practically need a PhD to watch Giada teach me how to make bruschetta.

16) When I’ve called him with a computer emergency, he’s actually said:

comp

 

It’s been almost 10 years of watching and (sometimes) learning. If I had to pick one guy from the geek squad, it would, without a doubt, be ma man. Don’t go “awww” – he didn’t hear that. He’s playing legos.

 

Leave a Reply